It's the Little Things

Hey look! I've gotten over 1000 repins on this pin!

Nicole Parrish's pin on Pinterest.

Athena: January 31, 2003 - April 7, 2014

We had to put my sweet Thena girl to sleep on Monday. It might possibly be the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

She was diagnosed with hip dysplasia when she was three and had been on pain medication since that time. Over time she had vertebrae fuse and arthritis set in. When we took her to the pain veterinarian in North Carolina last summer, she pointed out that she couldn't move her elbows anymore. Her right knee was so bowed out and thick that the veterinarian in Missouri thought she might have cancer. So she did an x-ray and thankfully it wasn't cancer, but the difference between her good knee, good hip, and bad knee, and bad hip was insane.

It just makes me realize even more what heart she had; to deal with all of that and still be this happy go lucky dog.

Last weekend was finally the point at which I said, 'She's miserable. We're miserable. I think we need to do this soon.' She would start crying because she couldn't get up to get more comfortable and we'd have to pick her up so she could readjust herself. Bad nights were ones where we'd have to get up 5-6+ times. Sometimes she would growl...not sure if that was because she hurt or we weren't doing what she wanted us to do. At any rate, we called the vet on Monday and scheduled the euthanasia for 9:45am. She could still walk and was bright eyed and 'happy' so I had Chris ask if they could exam her first to make sure we were (or weren't) doing the right thing.

When the vet saw her and I saw the look on the vet's face, I knew immediately that we were going to do it. The vet hadn't seen her in over a year and could see how bad she had gotten. She said, 'Nothing lines up with anything. You can tell she's in pain. It's past time.' So yeah, she got a tranquilizer first and then the phenobarbital to put her to sleep. We decided to do an individual cremation with her ashes returned to us. I plan to scatter them at some point, but only when I know without a doubt that I'm ready. Incidentally, the vet's office just called and said her ashes are here. Today has been an emotional day, so I think I'll wait to pick them up.

I can't even begin to describe what Athena meant to me/us. I'm choosing to believe that I'll be reunited with her one day. Thankfully I have lots of photos and many wonderful memories. :)

Here are some videos (I don't know how to edit them, so you get them in all their uncut glory!):

Athena on her 11th birthday this past January. It didn't occur to me that the cake was too far from her...I felt really bad about that when I watched the video back! 



Here she is enjoying the beach. Fun times!

Pizza Lovers Unite!

Friday is pizza night at our house and last Friday was a major success. So much so that I had to share the recipes with you all.

First, the crust. I've made a lot of crusts and this one is my favorite. I'm taping this recipe to the fridge and making it for every pizza from now on. Word of warning though, it takes a while. It suggests you let the sponge sit for 2 1/2 hours and then have the dough rise another hour. That said, I didn't know that before I started and was on a time crunch, so I had the sponge sit for 30 minutes. Seemed fine. I also didn't pre-bake my crust. You can find the recipe at Pretty/Hungry or pin it below.

Now. The pizza. Jalapeno popper pizza. Soooooo good. I didn't use the pepper jack cheese since I had some leftover mozzarella. You can find the recipe at Damn Delicious or pin it below.

Some Updates

As I imagine you've probably already guessed, the pregnancy test came back negative. Not much else to say about it except I've accepted we might not have kids and that's okay. My husband and I have discussed what that means to us and basically it means a lot of fun (big) vacations and less stress. In going through this infertility journey, I found out about Resolve: The National Infertility Association. Under their "Family Building Options" section, they have information about "living childfree". I haven't yet read through it but plan on it at some point. It's interesting that information about this option exists; but when females are raised EXPECTING to have children and it's ingrained in your head that that's what you're SUPPOSED to do and you're not NORMAL if you don't, it's nice to know it's okay to live childfree and it can actually be quite liberating. I'm not ruling out trying again at some point, but I think a break is in order. It's hard on the pockets and hard on the emotions.

We're back in our house in North Carolina and it feels great! This is where we're meant to be for sure. Unfortunately, I don't have a job yet. It gets stressful at times, but I want the next job I take to be something I can see myself doing long-term.

I started working out again. Thank goodness! It's not even about the weight or fitting into clothes anymore Who am I kidding? It's totally about the weight and fitting into clothes! But...BUT...it's also about just feeling good about myself again. I didn't feel bad about myself before, I just didn't feel energized and happy. I signed up for this program called the Whole Life Challenge that starts on May 3rd, so hopefully that'll be another kick in the butt. It'll be starting at a good time for me...just about the time I'll be starting to slack off on exercising. ;)

Until next time!

Cue 'Hold' Music

http://twentytwowords.com/the-princess-bride-pregnancy-test/

And now we wait.  February 21st is the day.  Cross your fingers!

Turkey Meatball Sandwich

Even though I haven't been posting about it, I'm still making tons of recipes I've pinned on Pinterest.  Last week I made a turkey meatball sandwich recipe that was incredible.  Granted, this is the first time I've ever made a meatball sandwich so I don't have much to compare to, but my husband, a meatball sandwich aficionado, agrees it's very good.

Some changes I made:
1.  I ended up purchasing no salt added crushed tomatoes so I added some salt to take out the blandness of the marinara sauce.
2.  Instead of feta, I used cotija cheese.  Didn't notice any difference and since we're moving, I'm trying to use what we have.
3.  I also bought pre-seasoned ground turkey but then still followed the recipe instructions on how to make the meatballs.  Made for some really flavorful meatballs!