At war with my mind

Based on last week and this week's diet and exercise, I've come to the realization that for me, weight loss is such a mental game.

I fully understand that I will lose weight when I eat right and exercise. Why is it then, that when I see a gain on the scale (even the smallest amount), I go from 60 to 0 mph in less time than it takes to say "cheeseburger"?? It seems so counter-intuitive. I say to myself, "No biggie, just work harder this week to stay on track...you have to if you're going to reach your goal." But then for some reason, staying on track is 10 times harder that next week. You'd think that with seeing a gain I would have much more motivation to keep at it. Not true. Not true at all. The diet and exercise go down the drain.

And then, when I see a loss I think, "Woo! It's working! Let's keep at it!" And the exercise is great, and I eat what I'm supposed to eat, when I'm supposed to eat it. I don't get it at all.

But then I read a little blurb in the article "Secrets of the Fittest" in the March issue of Self magazine:

"9. Praise your assets
Dragging it midworkout? 'I repeat a funny mantra like, "I have a great ass! I have a great ass!"' says Ingber, who also cues thoughts of sex and her latest crush to rev up her energy. 'It's sort of a joke, but when I think of how damn sexy I am, versus how I've got to get rid of cellulite, the positive message makes me want to sweat harder..."

Now that's definitely silly and I think her mantra is...something...but I think the general idea provides a good insight into why it is that I find I have so much more motivation when I see positive results.

Anyway, I've just been mulling this over in my head all week trying to think of how I'll deal with these setbacks long term. When I get to my goal weight I want to maintain it and I'll need to know how to beat my mind so that I can reach that long term goal.

Planning the weekend

I have big plans for this weekend in preparation for doing nothing over Spring Break. Note the sarcasm dripping from that sentence.

Saturday we're going into Asheville to check out what kind of invitations Michael's has. I'm trying to think of other things to do there too, otherwise it's a waste of a trip just to look at invitations.

And Sunday, depending on my weight, I'm going shopping in my closet. This could either be really good or really bad. I have tons of pants I've stowed away for when I get down to a smaller size and I'm really curious to see whether I can fit into any of them now.

Happy Friday everyone!

Once were lost, now are found.

So I freaked out a little when the dogs were gone yesterday. It was definitely less of a freakout than last time, but a freakout nonetheless. This time I kind of took the position that if they want to dig out of the yard and run around, then so be it. They'll see soon enough it's not all it's cracked out to be. And I did like the idea that I might have grass again with the dogs gone. ;o)

The plan this morning was to make up some flyers to distribute. Thankfully, I didn't get that far. Chris and I were in the kitchen when we saw Athena hanging out outside the door. We had a beautiful reunion and then Chris and I went walking around outside looking for Capone. No luck. So I feed Athena and then Chris and I sit down on the couch for Chris to eat his cereal. Then...THEN...Chris jumps up, runs out of the door, yells 'Pony!' and Capone comes running inside! I couldn't believe it!

So yeah, they're back home. Athena ate, but Capone has no interest. They both drank a ton. They both are really tired and Athena looks sore (she has arthritis and hip dysplasia) and has a hard time moving around. Capone apparently had a run in with something. The side of his face is all swollen and has dried blood on it. His legs have dried blood drips all over them and his left front leg has a huge scrape running down it.

I called all of the vets in town and left messages that they were gone and one lady called me back this morning and said the white dog was at her house yesterday. I don't think it was them though because the lady was all the way in Cullowhee & she said the rottweiler wasn't around.

I don't have them wear collars because I'm afraid they're going to choke each other, but I think it's worth the risk considering they like to try to get out. I do have an electric fence (in addition to the privacy fence) but I haven't been using it because the batteries in their collars are dead.

So I have two major to-dos on my list: get collars (to put ID on) & get batteries for their electric fence collars.

YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS.

First my dogs run away. Then my damn (scuse the language) refrigerator dies... AGAIN.

To whom am I getting married?

I received the estimate from the florist today. Apparently I'm getting married to Doug. I have his phone number and everything. Maybe I should call him up and introduce myself seeing as how we're getting married soon.

No comprendo

I don't understand why people can let their animals roam and they'll keep coming back to their house, but when my dogs take off, they don't come back. I don't get it.

#1 Rule for squats

So I'm sitting here watching fitness videos on itunes and I think, 'Why is it that your knees aren't supposed to go beyond your toes when doing squats or lunges??' I've been told that over and over and over again, but I've never questioned it. Does anyone know? It's probably something obvious.

Wedcession

So it dawned on me recently that our wedding will be affected by the recession & I really love how Meg at A Practical Bride approaches the subject. Let us keep on the sunny side of life.

A remarkable thing

A month or so ago, when my fiance and I were in Asheville meeting with cake vendors, we decided to look for wedding bands. We went to an independently owned place first with no luck. High prices and nothing that suited me. My fiance bought just the engagement ring, so because of the nature of the ring, I was having a hard time finding a band that matched to my liking. We then went to the mall and looked for rings in 3 different stores there. Nothing.

On Friday the 13th my fiance took a day off of work to run wedding errands with me. Before we headed out to Asheville we stopped at Hollifield Jewelers here in town. There's two jewelers here in town, but I picked this one to go to first since they were the nicest to me on the phone.

So we're looking at bands and again, I can't seem to find anything I really like. There's the wrap-arounds that make it look more like a set, but those have diamonds and are therefore more expensive. The lady pulls out some regular bands and I demonstrate how they just look funny and what exactly I'm looking for. We even start discussing custom made bands and how expensive they can be. On a fluke she pulls a band out that in my mind now, just glows of brilliance while the Hallelujah Chorus is playing.

This ring is perfect. Well, about 95% perfect. It doesn't match completely, but it's perty darn close. It's white gold and raised a little like my engagement ring, it has a notch in it that enables one of the prongs to fit into (therefore making it fit closer together and look more like a set), it was inexpensive, and a size 6. My exact size. Apparently it was left over from another set where someone didn't want the band. Ridiculous.

I went home with it that day. And my fiance had to hide it from me because I kept putting it on & trying to wear it.

Oh yeah, and he bought his there too. ;o)

Mission #1: Accomplished

139.6

Back in the 130s. Just barely, but the 130s nonetheless.

I weighed in at 140.6 last week (a gain of 0.6) and that was a bit of a bummer, so I'm excited for this number today.

Question for my readers

We're doing a registry at a retail store and one that's an "alternative" registry where we register for things like recipes & advice. Coming from the person that didn't want to do a registry at all, two registries is pretty amazing.

So I've been taking the "it's your wedding, do what you want" advice, but I do want to please my guests. Is it too much of a pain to be registered at just one store? Obviously, it drastically reduces the options that guests have for where they buy their gift. Or do you think guests would prefer more options than just one retail store?

Drinking is much more fun than hiking

Before I start, my sister made me realize (whether she intended to or not) that hiking in February isn't very much fun because it's hiking in February. I have hope that maybe the Mt. Pisgah hike wasn't fun for that reason rather than because I really don't enjoy hiking anymore.

At any rate...

I had the best time out with my fiance last night. One of the bluegrass bands we're looking at hiring for the rehearsal dinner was playing at Barley's in Asheville, so we decided to go hear them live. We first stopped at Bed Bath and Beyond to double check something on our registry and then we headed to Barley's. We ordered a pitcher and a slice of cheese cake to share. A couple of people we know from school and whom we don't particularly care for walked in, but they thankfully didn't see us. So we talked, drank beer, ate cheesecake, and listened to some bluegrass. And on the way home we had this awesome discussion about religion and spirituality. If we didn't know before that we're a perfect fit, we do now.

Even though I woke up with a headache this morning, we still agreed that we had a lot of fun and we vowed to go drinking in AVL in the middle of the week again. ;o)

A big moment in my life

Never in my life have I experienced a rotten egg, until last night when trying to make banana bread. It was pretty gross. My mom has always said I should crack the eggs into a separate bowl first like my great aunt, but I've never heeded her advice. I probably still won't. Thankfully, I hadn't put the bananas in, so I'm just out the butter and sugar I had creamed.

It was kind of funny because I screamed something and then yelled to Chris, "Well, I guess we won't be having any banana bread tonight!" And then he walks over to smell of the rotten egg (one of those, 'ew! this is so gross! smell it!') and can't smell it!! I couldn't believe it.

And that's my funny story of the day.

I've been ruined

During lunch today this graduate student walks into the preserve to write on the blackboard that there will be an opportunity to hang out with the seminar speaker for this week. She's very animated and goes on and on about how this guy is so fabulous, etc. And I'm thinking, nope. I have no desire whatsoever to hang out with this man. Not just him, but any biology big-wig. Even Darwin himself. Well, that may be a bit of an overstatement. I'd be cool with hanging out with him. I'd probably find him boring though. Who wouldn't I find boring? I feel like the answer to that question may lead me to my correct career path. Or I could just be crazy.

Then on Saturday Chris and I hiked to the top of Mt. Pisgah. But did I enjoy it like I used to enjoy hiking? Nope. My desire to hike has waned considerably. What would I rather spend my days doing? Again, the answer to that question may part the heavens. I'd say, oh but you wouldn't make any money doing what you're really passionate about (which is _?_). But then I realize, you're not making any money in biology either!!

What's up? Like the youtube David after the dentist...will I be like this forever?? Or is it a phase I'm going through because of my research? It's like I got my lifetime's fill of hiking when I was collecting data and I'd rather rub jalepenos in my eyes than hit the trails again. Funny thing when my bucket list included 'hike the entire AT' and 'hike the Grand Canyon'.

So where does that leave me? It keeps me from applying to any field biology job (my original career goal) that's for sure. Perhaps I haven't found the "right" field work yet? I did love the river work I did in NM and that certainly was field work.

My aunt seems to think I should become a dog trainer. All good and well except there's no training facilities around for me to get started. I've thought about working at a zoo (even though I question the practice of keeping caged animals), but alas, there's none around. Perhaps I should become a professional protester for PETA. JUST KIDDING! I don't like PETA (seriously).

So as I read back over this post, it sounds like these are two possible answers to my woes:

#1 The unemployed get jobs that in turn help boost the economy so that the housing market becomes a seller's market again so that I can move out of Sylva and explore different careers.

#2 My fiance get a promotion so that I don't have to work.

How desperate am I?

Desperate enough to accept a part-time position as an overnight cashier at the big W in the sky??

Season 1 down

This was the best scene from the entire first season of Lost:

Rain or Shine

We've decided what to do for Valentine's Day. We've already decided we're going no matter what the weather dishes out.

We'll make our way to Jukebox Junction for lunch on 276; THE best diner in the world. And I'm not just saying that because of sentimental value (my grandfather took my siblings and me as kids). Then from 276 we'll hit the Blue Ridge Parkway and make our way to Mt. Pisgah where we'll hike to the top. I have many fond memories of Mt. Pisgah, one of which includes my sister puking on the trail. HA! HAD to throw that one in. Then we'll drive home.

Simple and scenic. I'm excited!

Names again

You'll probably say, "Just pick something!" But it's just not that easy. If you've read any of my previous posts, you've probably gathered that I don't make decisions easily. Especially ones that last a lifetime. And I certainly don't want to be signing papers at the courthouse and then have to decide on the spot how I want to go.

Here are my choices:
Nicole DeAnne Allman (no change)
Nicole Allman Parrish (what my family does)
Nicole DeAnne Parrish (what I've seen some do)
Nicole DeAnne-Allman Parrish (not sure if this is legal--haven't found any instances of this online)
Nicole DeAnne Allman-Parrish

I want to keep DeAnne & Allman because it's been my name for 27 years and I'm quite fond of it. I wouldn't hold so tightly onto DeAnne if I wasn't named after my dad (Dean is his middle name) and my sister (AnnJanette is her middle name). Well, for all I know that's just a coincidence.

But I also would like to take Chris' because I'd just like to and I think he'd like it. But I hate to hyphenate because it's just too long.

Does anyone know the legal side of this? I'm leaning toward Nicole DeAnne-Allman Parrish. If I do this and I ever have to initial documents, will I have to write out NDAP? Will my technical middle name be DeAnne-Allman and I'll have to write this out fully when signing my name or filling out important documents? Those are probably questions with obvious answers.

So I guess what it comes down to is that I'm lazy and I don't want to have to write anymore than 20 letters. :o) But then that begs the question: if you don't want to have to write out DeAnne and Allman (and you won't if you don't have to), then why are you even keeping them?

And when it comes down to it, it's just a frickin' name! Just like it's just hair. ;o)

Weekly weigh-in

140.0

I'm happy with that. Not a big loss, but a loss nonetheless. I wasn't very good with my diet again this week, so I'm happy with any loss. Still ahead of the game as you can see from the chart (sorry it's so blurry--I took it as a screenshot).

Those darn 130s are still elusive!

I'll admit it

I just did a google search for "bride groom ski gear". If all goes well, our honeymoon will be spent at a ski resort. Odds are we won't go right after the wedding, but that's fine with us.

Not surprisingly, no one makes ski jackets with "bride" or "groom" emblazoned on the back. Haha!

Perhaps I should just get pins that say "bride" and "groom" and pin it to my jacket. On second thought, there's the possibility that it could hurt if my skis decide to have a mind of their own.

Is it too cheesy? Would we look like idiots? I don't even know if Chris would be willing to do it. If we went to a couples resort like Sandals, there'd be no need for it. I suppose there's no need for it at a ski resort either.

I feel pretty...weird(?) for thinking that bride and groom apparel is cute. On one of the wedding shows I watch I saw a bride wearing a bathrobe that said So and so's bride on the back of it. I don't care what anyone else thinks of me for saying this: SO cute! But yet, so not empowering, independent, or whatever other feminist word of which you can think.

But I don't care...I think it's cute.

Happy weekend!

The past couple of weekends have been crazy with family and wedding appointments. I am pleased to say that all I have planned for myself today is go to campus to move my samples to the freezer, do a toning video (I was going to work out on campus, but I decided to give myself a day off), read, crochet, make Chris a valentine's card, and perhaps do some gardening depending on how high the temp gets today. Oh, and of course move the food from the fridge back outside. And Sunday all we're doing is meeting with the people who're doing our wedding music. What fun! I'm actually really looking forward to the appointment. I think it'll give us a better idea of the feel of the wedding.

So happy weekend and make it a relaxing one!

Communication skills

One of the things that Chris and I have that demonstrates to me that we'll make it long term is our communication skills. I have never been in a relationship where I've been able to work through things like this one. I think it's because of his personality and how he can express what he's thinking or feeling in a way that doesn't rile me up.

I'm just amazed by it and so thankful.

Sike!

So my refrigerator is NOT working. It died again at 9:00 last night. Exactly six hours after the guy came and said nothing seems to be wrong. And of course we had moved all of the food back in and of course it's the weekend and the repairman can't get back out until Monday. Personally, I'm glad it died again because now I know I wasn't imagining it the first time. Not that I thought that, but now I don't seem like such an idiot.

Would a world where nothing needed repairs be a good world?

Stupid refrigerator

I just paid the repairman $42.50 for him to come to my house, plug in the fridge, and say, "Now what was wrong with it? Because it's working now." What?! I was having a good day until these events transpired. I guess I should have plugged it back in a few days ago to see whether it would start cooling again. Why do I have to learn these things the hard way??

I met my deadline

Sort of. If she wants a file with the complete data, I don't have it. But I have gone and labeled all of my unknowns. I think she'll be happy with that. Especially considering my academic sister didn't meet hers.

And ya know what?

It was easy!

:oD

The other good news: my fridge might get fixed this afternoon!

Television shows

I know what you're going to say. Then don't watch tv. Well, that's not an option.

I hate being at the gym any time from 10:00 am to 11:00 am. Why? Because that's when Maury Povich's show is on in the fitness center. I admit, I used to watch it; a loooooooong time ago. Not anymore. Once they started doing paternity testing in two part shows, I quit. Have you seen it lately? Ridiculous. Absolutely and utterly ridiculous. I'll just leave it at that. He's obviously doing it for the money. How can the husband of Connie Chung do the kinds of shows that he does? I'd almost go as far as to say he's worse than Jerry Springer.

Okay, enough of that...I'm getting angry.

Let's talk about Lost. I never got into it because of the weird monster thing that was moving all of the trees on the island. I thought, "This is stupid, I'm not going to watch this." And my decision was further reinforced when everyone was making fun of Lost for having more questions than answers. No thank you! Then I met Chris and everything changed. He's an avid Lost fan and I finally (a year and a half into our relationship) have gotten so curious about the series that I starting watching the dvds. I've now seen the first three episodes. My verdict: eh, it's okay.

Now how 'bout that Biggest Loser?! I love this show. I don't know why, but I do. That Joelle and Carla...crazy! I called it too. I looked at Chris and said, "They're not going to be friends after they leave the ranch." I wouldn't be surprised if Joelle doesn't come back for the finale.

The other shows I can't miss are Grey's Anatomy & Top Chef. Grey's Anatomy is annoying me lately though because they're doing the crossover episodes with Private Practice to boost ratings. If I wanted to watch Private Practice, I'd watch Private Practice. Don't try to force it on me while I'm watching Grey's please.

Top Chef is a hard one. Especially being on this diet. Everything looks so good (most of the time) and it's so hard not to sabotage my diet while watching the show. Even though he's so egotistical, I really like Stefan.

Okay I think I've had enough demonstrating to you how lame I am and how the tv has complete control over me.

I'm so confused.

I don't have a job. Well, I'm a biology tutor for Student Support Services on campus, but I only get paid based on the time I tutor. So if there's no students in need of tutoring, I don't get paid!

I've applied for a bunch of different jobs to no avail. Are people not hiring because of "the economy"? Are people afraid to hire me because I'm over-qualified? Is there something in my resume that says, "Don't hire this person"?

I had an interview at USFWS in Asheville a while back and didn't get hired.

I thought for sure (HR called me) I would get a temporary job paying $12/hr (woo!) as the Associate Dean of the Business School's "secretary". I don't know why, but that fell through...no call back.

It boggles my mind because I've never not been hired. All of the people I have interviewed for have hired me. What's going on??

The funny thing is that for once in my life, I actually want to work. I want to wake up at 6:30 to be in the office at 8:00 and then leave to drive back to my wonderful home at 5:00. Perhaps it's because I don't want to do what I really need to do. Research.

Here I am, blogging at a table in the lab with my pressed plants sitting over my shoulder. I've been given by my advisor an identification deadline of this Friday. They get bigger and bigger and loom over me as I try to ignore their silent whispers of, "Nicole, you need to identify us. We're tired of being "unknowns"...give us names, make us whole again!"

Whatever, I'd rather listen to podcasts while blogging about boring life things. The other thing that gets me is why the heck do I prolong my research?? Why do I sit here doing everything BUT my research when getting it done will set me free?? That's the answer to my problem. Do it. Get it done. Don't worry about it any longer. I know that's the answer, I want to get it done, so why can't I?

Stupid Master's degree.

Why I haven't gotten a Wii Fit

Worst decision maker in the world

It's probably not a good idea to put a girl who couldn't make a decision if her life depended on it in charge of making decisions on her own wedding.

It's so bad I've started buying the same brands of products I buy often so that I don't spend 3 hours in the store comparing products.

One time I spent a good 15 minutes deciding on the shampoo I wanted. I came home with conditioner.

My weight report

140.4

Just 0.2 down from last week. But that's okay, I didn't gain weight, nor did I stay the same like I had originally thought. I'm still ahead of the weight-loss schedule too.

I just really wanted to be back in the 130s this week! :oP

Happy super bowling kids!