Now We Wait (Part 2)...

...for a baby!!

With all of our IUIs, I was told to test at home. With our IVF, I was scheduled for a blood test. I couldn't wait, so I tested the day before. And lo and behold...that sure looks like a positive.

Our reaction? Subdued optimism. Basically, we didn't want to get our hopes up. Especially since we read that false positives are common if you do the type of "trigger" medication I had done.

And then my blood test said I was pregnant. And then the next one said everything was still looking good. And then the next one said everything was still looking good. By the way, it was incredibly annoying to have to drive an hour into Asheville for these little blood draws! I think I did three or four total. We told our family and select friends right away since a lot  knew we were doing IVF.

Then we had our first ultrasound at 6 weeks and got to hear the heartbeat!

Teeny, tiny Baby Parrish

At 8 weeks and 6 days, we had another ultrasound and this time we recorded the heartbeat.

A lot of people asked us if we were excited. We were, but again, it was subdued excitement. After so much disappointment, we were emotionally preparing for more disappointment. I don't know when we finally relaxed and said, "This is really happening. This is awesome!" I think for me it was maybe at 12 weeks when there was still a heartbeat and I was starting to actually feel something going on in my belly.

By the way, being pregnant is the WEIRDEST feeling (physically). To me at least. I'm pretty sure I felt the baby turn the night before last and then yesterday morning on my commute into Asheville. I told me supervisor and she goes, "Isn't that so neat?! I always thought that was the best part." And I said, "Well, it made me kinda nauseous actually." Haha!

So now I am four months and 1 week and just fit into my workout pants now. It's been quite the journey and I am so thankful for all of the support we have received from our friends, family, and the staff at PREG. I am absolutely thrilled with what is to come.

Picture taken last week - 4 months on the dot

Notes:

• We have decided not to find out the gender until he/she is born. Why did we decide to do it this way? Because we didn't choose to have problems conceiving...this was something we could choose. If that makes sense. It makes sense to me. :) 
• We transferred two embryos, but only one "took". I hope. I'd really like to not be surprised with a second at my 20 week ultrasound! (sometimes they hide)
• We have 4 frozen embryos that we'll use to try to add to our family at some point. I'll probably be older than 35 at that point (the cut-off age for Down's Syndrome testing etc) so I can't wait for the docs to push it on me and me continuously reply, "No testing. They're 33 year old embryos." I already know it'll happen. Assuming I get pregnant, of course. I think the quality of the embryos goes down as they're frozen and unthawed, so who knows what'll happen.

Thank you all for listening (or reading, rather) to our story. 

Now We Wait

It happened. Now we play the waiting game.

Planned Pins for December's Pinstrosity Challenge

Pretty excited to try these babies out this month (click picture to be taken to website):

Peppermint Bark Cheesecake

Chocolate Cupcakes with Mint Chocolate Chip Frosting

Peppermint Popcorn Bark

Peppermint Whipped Cream

Fun Times with Pinterest

Anyone who knows me knows I love Pinterest. At least, most of the time I do.

At any rate, I frequently peruse the blog Pinstrosity to see which pins people are doing (and which ones I should stay away from!). They do this challenge thing every month(?) where they give you a theme and you find something you've pinned and do it. It's great for me because I have a lot of pins that would otherwise just sit there. So far I've done October (pumpkin theme) and November (giving back theme) and I have four (yes, four!) pins picked out for December (mint theme).

The fun thing is that when you're done with the project, you send them what you did and they put it on their blog! You can see mine here and here.

Happy pinning!

You're Not Alone

Several years ago when I first started on this infertility journey, I felt very alone. Very, very alone. I had all these questions and it seemed like no one, besides my doctor, to talk to. Over the years, I've become more and more open with people about what we're doing/going through. And to be perfectly honest, it's helped me. A lot.

It used to be when I got the dreaded, "Do you have kids?" question, I'd just say "No." and that word would hang in awkward silence as we would both try to think of the next thing to say. Now, depending on the person I'll say, "No, we've been trying for a long time, but it just hasn't happened." This does two things: 1. It opens up further conversation. 2. If it makes the person uncomfortable, GOOD. I want people to know that that question is more complicated than they realize and sometimes just plain inappropriate.

Thankfully (and not thankfully), I have three friends who were also diagnosed. I say 'thankfully' because having them to talk to has been INCREDIBLY helpful. Sometimes you just need to vent about something that happened and it's nice to have someone to talk to who's going through the same thing as you. It's like a sisterhood.

It's also nice (again unfortunately so, because you don't wish these troubles on anyone) to see things like this video and be reminded that you're not the only one having to deal with this. PREG is where I go for my treatments and they are a wonderful group of folks.

Our fourth IUI didn't work, so we're moving on to IVF. I'm on birth control until November 24th, then I have a baseline ultrasound and bloodwork done on the 26th, start Lupron on the 27th, and start ovarian stimulation on the 29th. From there the doctor monitors how my body responds to the medications I'll be on and schedules the egg retrieval based on that.

Here we go!

Update: FYI...

• 1 in 8 couples (or 12% of married women) have trouble getting pregnant or sustaining a pregnancy. (2006-2010 National Survey of Family Growth, CDC)

Another IUI

As you probably know by now, our 3rd IUI didn't work. I took a couple of weeks and sat on that information until I felt up to thinking about the next step. 

When we moved back here from Kansas City and I started seeing my original fertility doctor again, he told me they typically recommend 3 or 4 IUIs and then move on to IVF. So that's where my mind was when I finally called the nurse to check in and see what the next steps actually were.

Aside: during this time I saw my gynecologist for my yearly exam and when she asked the first day of my last period I answered, "Uhhhhh...the 7th or 8th? I think?" And she looks at me and says, "With you seeing a specialist, I can't believe you don't know the exact day!! I'm surprised your doctor doesn't yell at you!" Weeeeeeeell, sometimes you need a break from keeping track.

Back to my original story. The nurse clarified that when the doctor said 3 or 4 IUIs, he meant when you're not doing injectables (and I am). So she said she would do another IUI using both the pills and injectable. Even if she was talking out of her ass and that's NOT what the doctor meant, I'm not ready for the jump to IVF and was/am more than happy to try another IUI. 

I finished up the letrozole today and did my first injection of gonal-f. I have another injection to do on Thursday I think. Good news on the gonal-f front: the first time I got the script filled it was $300; our need-based application finally went through and this time we only paid $150. NICE.

IVF. IVF. IVF. What to do. What to do. What to do. 

Gut reaction: no. Why no? Reason #1 IT'S A SHIT TON OF MONEY. Reason #2 It feels unnatural to me - like I'd be interfering in my destiny (fate?) that I'm not supposed to have kids. IUI is too, but not to the extent IVF is (my personal feeling). And being eco-minded, I think that maybe not having kids is the more responsible decision. Reason #3 IT'S A SHIT TON OF MONEY. 

Second reaction: what if a certain number of years from now I regret making that decision? I don't want to decide no until I know I won't regret making it. I told the hubs the other day, "I wish there was a Cosmo quiz for this. 'Should you do IVF?? Take this quiz and find out!'" 

And that's that. If you have any tips on how to make this decision, please let me know.